One of the reasons Catholics rush relationships is due to a high anxiety to find their soul mate—sometimes to the point where dating isn’t even enjoyable. Rather, it becomes an all out mission to find a spouse—at all costs.  It goes without saying that you should never seriously date anyone who you wouldn’t be friends with or wouldn’t consider good marriage material. However, the opposite is also problematic; namely, obsessing early on about whether or not this person is your soul mate.

You may find yourself asking questions: “Is this the one?” “Could this be my future spouse? “Where will we live?” “What will our finances look like?”  It can be a tendency to micromanage every little detail at the beginning of a relationship to figure out the spouse question.   This is unhealthy. In fact, it will impede the natural growth of a developing relationship and severely hamper your decision making process.

It also dehumanizes the other person, turning them into a venture to be figured out rather than a person to date who has feelings. As you might expect, trying to decipher what your whole future will look like with this person so early on prematurely attaches you to that person and builds a false intimacy that won’t last.

To finish this post, please see my article on CatholicMatch here.